


Star-crafty as a Warner

by coolcat001100



Category: Animaniacs, StarCraft (Video Games)
Genre: The Warners doing their usual chaotic schtick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 06:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolcat001100/pseuds/coolcat001100
Summary: Koprulu - a sector defined by conflict. The Second Great War is at its peak, as the forces of Jim Raynor and his Raiders fight with renewed strength against the domineering Arcturus Mengsk. But when three familiar stowaways are found aboard the Hyperion, just how will things be thrown off-balance?
Kudos: 1





	Star-crafty as a Warner

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a Valentine's gift for my wonderful girlfriend. Posting it here now because... well, once again I dragged my feet. Enjoy.

The ever-present gentle hum of the Hyperion’s engines were the only sound that permeated the armory - a rarity for sure, given the usual bout of activity within it from soldiers and machinery alike. Right now, though, it had only been a few hours since the last routine check-up and gauging on all the equipment, so everything was currently shut down. Most of the troops were in their sleeping quarters right now anyway, save for the armory’s current occupant; none other than the ship’s commander and rebel leader himself.

Jim Raynor’s bootsteps were the only other noise in the vast chamber as he stepped through, the heavy clunking of his CMC suit unmistakable. Normally he didn’t check in here much other than to talk with Swann and allocate funds for equipment and upgrades, but when Matt had informed him of intruders being detected in the ship’s armory, he decided to take a look for himself. He didn’t exactly know _why_ when he could just send one of his own men instead, but something just drew him towards looking.

His C-14 rifle rested carefully in his hands as he looked around through various stacks of ammo crates and resting vehicles. Still he saw and heard nothing… until some very apparent chewing made itself known.

Eyes narrowed, he turned towards the sound and raised his rifle. He still didn’t see anything, but he knew where it was coming from. Carefully creeping through the stacks of equipment and walking around a parked Hellion, he approached the sound closer and closer. Turning another corner and seeing movement between two half-deconstructed Marauder suits, he sighted in the rifle, expecting to see a stray Zergling or othersuch beast that somehow crept aboard…

...Only to witness a trio of small, fuzzy children with clown-like faces turn to him.

“...What in the world-” the flabbergasted commander barely managed as his mind stumbled through confusion.

The middle child, whom most notably was wearing a blue shirt and a red baseball cap, swallowed before speaking up. “Oh, thank goodness someone found us! I was about to run out of Rice Krispy Treats!”

“Don’tcha still have a whole box of Cocoa Puffs in there, sib?” the tallest one asked, who was wearing only a pair of brown slacks.

“Yeah, but the Rice Krispy Treats are my favorite snacks!” the middle one insisted.

“I’m seein’ another snack I wouldn’t mind sinking my teeth into right now~,” said the smallest, leering at Jim with a grin.

“Okay, time out,” Jim interrupted, having lowered his rifle and using his hand to hold his forehead. “What the hell are you doin’ here?”

Suddenly, the three children gasped, then turned to each other in shock. Jim only had a second to wonder what he did wrong before the tallest one marched over to him, a displeased look on his face.

“Now listen here, mister,” he began, “just because we may all be in a strange place millions of miles from any habitable planet right now, does not give you **any** excuse to be using such language!”

“Uh, I’m sorry?” Jim said, more confused than ever. “I… didn’t know it bothered you.”

“Oh, actually no, we don’t mind it at all,” the tallest said, now joined by his two smiling siblings.

“But the censors just won’t allow it,” the girl added.

“Censors?” Jim asked. “Who in the goddamn even is-”

Once again, he was cut off by the children gasping. “Again?!” the red-capped one shouted. “Oh, won’t somebody _please_ think of the children?!” He then dropped the act and winked at Jim. “Between you and me, we think cursing is funny.”

The tallest grinned and leaned in closer to the rebel leader. “We just gotta play ball until they’re more lenient someday.” He then resumed his angry facade. “Now, I don’t know who you think you are Mr…” he trailed off. “...Uhhhhhh, I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“Uh- Jim,” he explained. “Jim Raynor.”

“Well, pleased to meet ya, Jim!” the boy responded, gleefully shaking his armored hand at a speed he wouldn’t have expected the hydraulics to allow. “I’m Yakko!”

“And I’m Wakko!” the red-capped child quipped.

“And I’m _cute!_ ” the girl piped up, “But I’ll let you call me Dot.” She punctuated this last point by batting her eyelashes at him.

“O-kay…” Jim said, his confusion still not alleviated. “First question: What?”

With that, Yakko and Wakko lept together, arms across each other’s shoulders in a brotherly manner. “We’re the Warner Brothers!”

“And the Warner sister!” Dot added.

“Alright, alright,” Jim said, his confusion still not entirely cleared. Actually, that’s being generous - it wasn’t cleared at all. “Second question: How the heck did you get here?”

“How did _any_ of us get here?” asked Yakko, pulling on a pair of glasses and a sweatervest. “Was it intelligent design, or just the beautiful unpredictability of the universe?”

“And _why_?” Dot asked, resting her cheek on her hand.

“And _how_?” Wakko chimed in. “Personally I think it was a group of flying spaghetti monsters, before we ate them all.”

“No, no,” Jim corrected, “I mean why are you on the ship?”

“Why are _you_ on the ship?” Yakko asked.

“...Because it’s my flagship?” Jim said, his confusion only worsening.

“Well it’s certainly a sorry excuse for that, ain’t it?” Yakko retorted. “You can’t sell flags if you don’t have any inventory, you know!”

“No, no, we’re not _selling_ flags-” Jim insisted.

“Clearly,” Dot interrupted. “No offense, but I have no idea how you’ve stayed in business.”

“Maybe he’s been selling these jetpacks!” Wakko said.

Turning to his voice, Jim watched with horror as he saw that the boy had already strapped on a Reaper jetpack that was several sizes too big for him and was hovering over the floor of the Armory.

“He-HEY! SHUT THAT OFF!” Jim yelled, a second too late before Wakko shot directly upwards and through the roof of the room with a loud metallic bang, to which the group cringed upon hearing. A couple seconds later he fell back down in a mess of debris. Jim quickly rushed over, pushing aside the rubble.

“Jesus Christ… are you hurt?” he asked, quickly checking him for injuries.

Miraculously, though, the boy appeared fine, save for the kooky look in his eyes and wobbling of his head as he held it. “Uh, sorry,” he weakly smiled. “Just put it on my tab, okay?”

Jim sighed, half with relief and half with frustration. “For god’s sake, don’t touch anything! These aren’t toys or-”

“Come on,” Yakko said, “We’re just helping test your stock! Can’t be sellin’ faulty products, after all!”

Turning to him, Jim felt his stomach drop a bit more as he saw Yakko had somehow gotten into one of the nearby CMC Marine suits. The sight of his head barely poking up into the helmet thanks to his undersized body would’ve been hilariously comical if it wasn’t so concerning.

“...How in the hell did you get in that so fast?” Jim asked, barely able to put the words together.

“I’m a fast dresser,” Yakko answered, somehow able to get the arms of the suit to mime putting on an invisible bowtie. “When you look as snazzy as I do, you gotta be prepared to change digs at a moment’s notice.”

The rebel commander sighed. “Please just take it off.”

“Woah-ho, there!” Yakko piped up, shoving the suit’s metallic palm only inches away from Jim’s shocked face. “You gotta be _real_ special to ask me to do that so soon!”

“Kid, I ain’t kiddin’ around,” Jim insisted. “That isn’t just something you can slip into-”

“Hey,” Yakko interrupted, “Remember what I said about bein’ snazzy? Slipppin’ in is what I do best-”

His boasting speech was cut off as he began feeling himself wobbling when trying to step forward. Before he could even begin to pull himself back, the weight of the suit won over and he toppled down, crashing onto the hard floor. Jim tensed up for a couple seconds before the boy squeezed and pulled himself through the helmet’s visor, head first, followed by the rest of his body. He breathed hard with the effort.

“Alright,” he admitted, giving a guilty grin. “Now I realize the suit was wearin’ _me_ more than the other way around, and that ain’t a good look.”

Jim shook his head. “I swear, how could things get any-”

“Uuup!” Yakko interjected, suddenly stretching his hand and holding a finger to Jimmy’s lips. “Dangerous question, now! I’m willing to bet you don’t wanna be tempting fate, _or_ common tropes!”

“Too late,” Wakko came in, pointing to Dot. “Look!”

Jim turned, and felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest when he saw Dot wearing a Spider Mine atop her head, posing in various ways. “Whaddya think?” she asked. “Does it bring out my eyes more, or my hair? Should I tilt it to the side?”

The mine began blinking its big red light on the top, and Jim raised his rifle quick as a whip. “LOOK OUT!” he yelled, before pulling the trigger and letting loose a burst of bullets right at the mine, hitting straight on the mark. Dot reflexively ducked as the hail hit the mine dead-center, flinging it off her and back a few feet before it exploded. The girl watched it combust before turning back to the commander, disappointment and offense on her expression.

“Well, you could’ve just _told_ me it wasn’t my style!” she said, arms crossed. “I’m mature enough to take criticism!”

Breathing hard and dropping his rifle, Jim finally began losing his patience. _“For the love of all things holy, THIS AIN’T A GODDAMNED TOY STORE!”_ he yelled. _“You ain’t even supposed to be here, and I’ll be damned if I let y’all hurt yourselves here! All of this is DANGEROUS!”_

As soon as he stopped, the previous looks of mischief and enthusiasm had entirely drained from the siblings’ faces, replaced with crestfallen looks of disappointment and shame. As sudden as it was, Jim even found himself feeling bad for them as their lips began quivering and they looked down at the ground.

“Oh…” Dot mused. “We’re really sorry, Jim…”

“We just wanted to play on your super-cool spaceship,” Wakko added, putting on extra-sympathetic eyes for him.

“I mean, not everyone gets a ship as cool and awesome as yours - or wear that suit as well as you do,” Yakko added, hoping to win him over.

Feeling a mix of guilt and frustration, the commander sighed. “Look, it ain’t like I don’t like you kids - far from it,” he explained. “But this ain’t a place to play around; not with what we’re prepared for. We’re at _war_ here.”

Upon hearing that last sentence, the three kids gasped and looked at each other with shock, then back to Jim.

_“War?”_ asked Dot.

_“Huh?”_ Wakko joined.

Jim nodded. “Yeah.”

Suddenly, the three siblings smiled and put their arms around each other’s shoulders before singing, **“What iiis it good for?!”**

**“Absolutely-”**

**“Nothin’!”**

Jim only stared in confusion as Yakko sung solo for the one word before his siblings chimed in for the last. “Maybe I oughta lay off the Scotty Bolger’s tonight…” he said to himself.

“Soooo…” Dot asked, resting her chin in her hand, “Who are we fightin’, anyway?”

Jim’s face darkened. He heaved a sigh before he began explaining. “Arcturus Mengsk… the most twisted and vile despot there ever was in the Koprulu sector. He’s killed millions in his personal power quest, and he’ll kill millions more unless we do somethin’ about it.”

Suddenly, Yakko appeared deep in thought, tapping his temple. Finally, his face brightened up. “Hmm... Alright, so, hear me out... if we convinced this Mengsk guy to surrender and end the whole war, _then_ would ya let us play on your ship?”

Upon hearing this, Jim laughed, chortling for a good several seconds before answering Yakko. “Kid, tell you what - if you can convince Arcturus Mengsk himself to surrender, then I’ll _give_ ya the damn ship.”

The Warners all gasped, clenching their hands in excitement. _“You mean it?!”_

“Sure, why not?” The rebel leader let out another chuckle before turning to the side, a forlorn look creeping onto his face. “Definitely wish it was possible... but tyrants like him don't change. They don’t answer to reason, kindness, or anythin’ of the sort. They just take and take, until there's nothin' left. And once that happens-”

He cut himself off as he turned back, seeing that the children were no longer there. He looked around him, but saw no sight of them, or even an indication that they were ever there to begin with.

A couple more seconds of silence passed. Then he sighed.

“...Screw it, I’ll lay off the booze for the rest of the week.”

…

The top floor of the capital of Korhal was in a relaxed state, as it usually was. While there had been a bit more stress and aggravation to deal with as of late thanks to the resurgence of Raynor’s Raiders, the Emperor of the Dominion still felt secure, secure enough to not let matters bother him while he carried out his usual tasks.

As he’d been expecting, the voice of his prime secretary came on his intercom, built into his desk. _“Your Majesty, Indigo Company’s reporting that they have almost completely reconquered the planet of Nephor II. They are currently engaging in mop-up procedures.”_

Arcturus Mengsk pressed the speaker button on the intercom, lips curled in a smile as he did. “Very good. Tell them to report when it is finished. I want a new armor-focused outpost there as soon as it’s done.”

_“Understood, Your Majesty. Oh, and one more thing…”_

“Hm?” Mengsk asked. He wasn’t expecting any other updates or news today. “What is it?”

_“You have some guests here to see you.”_

Confusion immediately settled into his mind. Any meetings and appointments he had set were still days away. “Guest? Who are you talking about?”

Before he could react, three shapes started stretching out of the holes in the intercom’s grille, before fully coming out and re-forming into the three mischievous troublemakers we all know and love. “Us!” they announced, landing right on his desk.

Mengsk immediately recoiled back and jumped out of his chair in shock. _“What in the goddamn-?!”_

“Pleasure to meet ya, pal!” Yakko said, leaning forward and shaking his hand. “I apologize for the impromptu arrangement, but we felt the matter was pressing enough to make this meeting immediately.”

Mengsk pulled his hand away, looking incredulously at the furry children. “Matter? Who the hell even are you?!”

Yakko sighed. “Aw great, usually we only have to make _one_ of these introductions per show. Buuuuut, the matter’s important enough that we’ll make an exception just for you,” he decided, tugging on Mengsk’s cheek, in a manner that the Emperor most certainly did not appreciate.

Before making the introduction, Yakko took a moment to cough and clear his throat. And then cough again. And again. And clear his throat some more. Wakko pulled out his bag and took out some breath freshener before handing it to Yakko. Yakko used it a couple times before handing it back. He grunted and coughed some more. At this point, Mengsk was getting disgusted on top of annoyed.

_“Would you just get to the god damned point already?!”_ he demanded.

“Alright, alright,” Yakko said, “don’t get ‘yer tassels in a twist.”

With that, he and Wakko reached across each other’s shoulders and struck a pose. “We’re the Warner Brothers!” they announced in tandem.

_“And_ the Warner sister!” Dot chimed in, striking another pose.

Mengsk grunted. “And pray tell, what is so important that you had to barge in here and interrupt my business to tell me?”

“Well, it’s actually pretty simple, so we’ll keep it brief,” Yakko explained. “Basically, ehhhhh… we want you to surrender.”

The right side of Mengsk’s brow shot up in sheer shock, his eyes widening with it. “Surrender?!”

“Yeah, you know,” Yakko continued, “the whole war with Jim Raynor? We’d like ya to surrender to him.”

Mengsk was silent for a moment, then let out a harsh chuckle. “Really… You mean to say that _Jim Raynor_ has sent _children_ to try to tell **me** to surrender?”

“Oh no, he didn’t send us,” Wakko explained, “we came here on our own.”

“We don’t follow anyone’s rules,” Dot clarified.

Mengsk gave a harsh grunt. “Of course not… even for Raynor, that would be an outright _asinine_ attempt.” He stepped forward and straightened his back, standing over the Warners. “I mean really, this is downright pathetic. Me, surrender this war to that traitor terrorist, all because you _ask_? Clearly you overestimate yourselves. I am the god damned Emperor of the finest empire in Terran history. Do you spawns of _whores_ even understand what that means?”

“That ya get to wear a bunch of clothes that’d get you laughed off of Project Runway?” Yakko suggested, pointing to his tassels and cape.

Mengsk lowered his face at them, disdain clear across it. “It means that my word is the **law** around here. If I say ‘jump’, you don’t say ‘how high’, you just jump as high as you possibly can.”

Right on-cue, there was a muffled stomping noise from the floor beneath them, followed by a lone voice saying, _“Yes sir, Your Majesty!”_

Mengsk nodded, clearly pleased. “Like so. If I say I want a planet conquered and colonized in my honor, then it will be done just as I ask.”

With that, the intercom on the desk came to life again. _“Your Majesty, the mop-up operation is finished! They are assembling the first War Factories as you ordered!”_

“Excellent,” he said after pressing the button and then releasing it. He turned his attention back to the children. “And if I say-”

“That if you want a giant magnet in the shape of Donald Glover’s face hung in your main office, they’ll do it?”

Mengsk turned to Wakko, his posture falling a little upon this confusing interjection. Wakko just kept staring at him with his usual carefree grin and tongue loping out.

“Erm… well, yes!” Mengsk confirmed. “Exactly!”

Suddenly, a pair of handymen burst into the room. Working quickly, they set up a stepladder, pulled out a large magnet in the shape of Donald Glover’s face, and screwed it into the ceiling before bowing to the Emperor and retreating.

Mengsk simply stared at the magnet in perplexion, while Wakko did so in admiration. “Faboo!” he exclaimed.

Mengsk shook off his confusion and stared back at Warners in anger. “Alright, this has gone on long enough. You have one second to get out of my office, _immediately!”_

“So…” Yakko began, choosing to talk rather than run, “Does this mean you’re gonna surrender?”

“Wha… NO!” Mengsk shouted, wondering what part of what he said could’ve possibly have been lost on them.

“Come on, just give it a try!” Dot insisted. “How bad could it be?”

At that point, Mengsk didn’t even try arguing back - he just slammed his fist down on the intercom’s speaker button. “Attention, Royal Guard!” he announced. “There are intruders in my personal office! Mobilize and prepare to defend your Emperor! And Major Willhelm…”

A crude smile spread across his face. “I want you in here right now, **loaded for bear**.”

A second later, a large walker mech broke through the side of the building, an armored beast with heavy metal plating and a pair of chainguns on either side. A Viking walker that had been personally custom-fitted for the deadly arsenal of its pilot.

Major Willhelm grinned maliciously as he took in the targets before him. “These your intruders, Emperor? Consider ‘em in Hell already.”

The children, on the other hand, seemed unamused. “Well this is a disappointment,” Yakko said. “You expect to hunt bears in _that_ thing? You’d tear ‘em apart until there was nothin’ left you could even use or eat!”

“Do you even _have_ a hunting license, sir?” Dot demanded. “Because this is definitely not in line with local fish & game laws.”

“Shut up!” Willhelm bit back, spinning up the chainguns. “Time to die!”

With that, he let loose a hail of bullets, causing splinters and bits of metal to spray up as the powerful armaments let loose their ammunition. The Warners, however, quickly jumped out of the way, Dot and Wakko jumping to either side of him.

“Targets lost!” he said. “Wait, one of them’s… right on top of me?”

Though Willhelm had stopped firing, he noticed that the right chaingun was still spinning. Leaning forward to look through the cockpit better, he saw Yakko running on top of it like a treadmill.

“Hey, try to keep up!” he said, turning back at Willhelm. “I’m not even breakin’ a sweat here!”

Gritting his teeth, Willhelm swung his aim upwards, trying to get the chainguns to get a bead on the kid. However, he jumped up almost as soon as he did. Willhelm frantically backpedaled trying to avoid having Yakko jump right over him, only to realize too late that the sudden and unnatural change in force, combined with the awkward upward aim of the chainguns, was too much for the Viking’s weight, causing it to topple over on its back.

Mercifully, it was right next to the hole in the room it had broken through, avoiding the deadly fall by just a few inches. On the downside, the Viking had no way of getting back up.

Willhelm struggled with the controls for a bit before he saw Yakko land on the front of the Viking’s front armor. “You know, you could stand streamlinin’ the design a bit,” he explained. “You wouldn’t have fallen over like that if ya weren’t so top heavy!”

Willhelm’s eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment before he sheepishly smiled and moved the chainguns over the Viking’s torso, trying to cover up his shame. Which was weird because Willhelm himself wasn’t very top-heavy.

Yakko then lept off the fallen walker and back onto the desk, grinning at Mengsk. “So… wanna surrender now?”

Mengsk only growled before pressing the intercom button again. “Footmen!” he ordered. “Get in here immediately!”

With that, a sizable squad of marines marched into the room, rifles at the ready. Spotting Wakko standing in the middle, they trained their weapons at him, drawing his attention as several clicks sounded.

“Sorry, kid,” the squad’s leader said, “the time to put your hands up is already gone. Any last words?”

Wakko smiled. “Oh, I’m so glad you asked!” With that, he opened his bag up once more and pulled out an incredibly hefty tome - a copy of Leo Tolstoy’s _War and Peace_.

“What… what are you doing, kid?” the squad’s leader asked.

“I’m giving you my last words, of course!” Wakko stated matter-of-factly. With that, he opened up the book to the first chapter and began to read. _“‘Well, Prince, Genoa and Lucca are now nothing more than estates taken over by the Buonaparte family. No, I give you fair warning. If you won’t say this means war…’”_

The squad leader clenched his fists in frustration, realizing this was going nowhere. “That does it! OPEN FIRE!”

The squad let loose their full fury on the target, firing round after round in concentrated force. To call it “excessive” would still be a bit underplaying just how overboard they were going in ensuring the opposing figure was dead.

...However, when they ceased firing, they saw Wakko was still there, unhurt - and still reading from his book.

_“...These words were spoken (in French) one evening in July-_ Oh, I’m sorry,” Wakko said, turning his attention to the marines, “are you finished?”

The soldiers simply stared flabbergasted, until one of them pointed to the ceiling above the furry child. Looking up, the squad suddenly understood what happened. The giant magnet shaped like Donald Glover’s face was so powerful that it had drawn all of their bullets into it and away from Wakko mid-flight. The overwhelming amount of lead had formed a small pile stuck to the magnet.

“...How in the hell-” the squad leader began.

“You know,” Wakko lectured, putting away the book, “maybe you should have a leader with smarter home design choices. Between this and the surprise trapdoor, I’m not sure he makes the best decisions.”

“...Wait a second, what surprise trapdoor- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

The squad leader spoke just as Wakko pulled a button out from his bag and pressed it, causing a hidden panel underneath the entire squad to open up and letting them subsequently fall in.

Soon after they landed at the bottom, Wakko leaned over the hole. “On second thought, I like this addition!”

Wakko then lept over onto the desk beside his brother, looking back at Mengsk. “So… wanna surrender now?”

Now fuming with anger, Mengsk slammed the intercom button once more. **“Ghost team Omega! Make yourselves known and kill for your Emperor!”**

A few seconds later, four figures, previously invisible, became visible and surrounded Dot, training their sniper rifles right at her.

“Team Omega’s arrived, sir,” said the squad’s leader, most prominent because of her large, blonde ponytail. “Consider the target good as dead.”

Dot, however, was unfazed. “Ooh! I _love_ your hair!” she told the ponytail ghost. “Where did you get it done, miss, uh…”

“It’s Nova, kid,” the woman answered. “Consider yourself lucky. Most people don’t even get to know they’re about to be killed by a ghost.”

Dot scoffed and crossed her arms. “Oh please, _you’re_ supposed to be a ghost? You’re hardly scary.”

Nova chuckled. “Good joke, kid. If you don’t find us scary, then you’re either incredibly brave, or just plain stupid.”

“Hm…” Dot mused before pulling out a small box. “Maybe you should take some pointers from my pet.”

The Warner sister then opened the box, and the four ghosts were immediately greeted with the most terrifying sight they had ever seen. A truly twisted horrifying fiend popped out of the box, a creature whose very existence defied reality and explanation in such a way that when the author of this story tried describing it, he couldn’t figure out where to even begin and got lost in thought, forgetting about what he was writing and then buying a couple games on a Steam sale. By the time he came back, Dot’s pet was already back inside the box, the four ghosts having fainted.

Dot walked over to Nova, her face now a pale white from the shock. “See? Now you’re already looking the part better!”

With that, Dot leapt over to Mengsk’s desk, joining her brothers. “So… wanna surrender now?”

Mengsk was aghast with shock and anger, a vein on his forehead bulging from the pressure. “...How in the goddamn did you even-”

“Well?” asked Yakko. “Wanna give surrendering a try?”

“NO!” Mengsk shouted. “I have never surrendered before, and I will not even start now!”

“Well, how will you know if you don’t want to if you won’t even try it?” Wakko suggested.

“I am NOT going to ‘try’ it!” Mengsk insisted.

“How about now?” Yakko asked again.

“NO!” “How about now?” Dot chimed in.

**“NO!”**

“How about now?” Wakko tried.

_**“NO!”**_

“How about now?”

“How about now?”

“How about now?”

_“How about now?”_

_“How about now?”_

Their voices all joined together, their chant became an unholy choir to the ears of Mengsk. Repeating again, and again, and again, their voices became embedded in his brain, unable to be ejected, until he was certain he would never be able to stop hearing them. Finally, as they continued showing no signs of stopping, he snapped.

“AAAARGHHHHHH!” He slammed his hand down hard enough on the intercom button to almost break it. “PATCH ME THROUGH TO JIM RAYNOR! I DON’T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FIND HIS FREQUENCY, BUT IT’D BETTER BE QUICK!”

It seemed that luck was finally on his side in this moment, as the large monitor behind him came to life after only a few seconds, displaying the rebel commander’s face on it. Jim’s expression instantly contorted in a look of confused disgust upon recognizing Mengsk.

“...Arcturus? What the hell do you want-”

_“Fine, Jim._ You did it,” Mengsk began, his words increasing in intensity as he breathed heavily. “You have attacked me, spread gospel about me, turned my citizens against me… and now, you have _broken_ me. You sent your little _mongrels_ to get inside my head, and it worked. _Are you happy now?!”_

Jim blinked. “What? I got no idea what you’re-”

_“You win, James Raynor,”_ Mengsk continued. “I hereby surrender to you. I know my son is with you as well - tell him that the crown is officially his. Come here, claim your dirty victory, _just get these rotten beasts away from me!”_

Upon hearing this, the Warners grinned and began jumping up and down, holding each other’s hands. “Yayyyy! We’re getting a spaceship! We’re getting a spaceship!”

Jim then tilted his head in confusion before shocked recognition entered his face. “Wait… are those the-”

_“JUST GET HERE ALREADY!”_ Mengsk screamed, throwing a nearby paperweight at the monitor and smashing it. He then collapsed to the floor, kneeling. The sooner he could get out of here and start forgetting about the Warners, the better.

Meanwhile, the ghosts in the room began waking up. One of them, a woman with brunette hair, looked at Mengsk with perplexion. “Wait… did he just say that he’s surrendered. As in, _surrendered_ surrendered?”

“That’s the idea,” Yakko said, leaning over.

“Well… what are we supposed to do now?” the ghost asked.

“Well,” Yakko leered and put a hand on her shoulder, “You should still be keepin’ sharp, right? Why don’t ya let me run a ‘personal inspection’ of your equipment there?”

“Helloooooo, nurse!” Wakko chimed in, leaning over with hearts in his eyes as he stared at the very confused ghost.

A few feet away, Dot and Nova rolled their eyes.

“Boys,” Dot said.

“Go fig,” Nova agreed.


End file.
